This work is presented to all the Gnome community by the famed explorer of Azeroth and beyond – Micromantica, the honorary member of Ironforge Explorers’ League.
*Please note that this is a research based on raving fantasy which was then proved by facts – actually it’s the way all true Gnome researches are to be done.
So, the question in question is:
Gnomes Want Gnomeregan Back, But Is It Gnomeregan They Need?
Let’s fuss about the modern state of affairs. As we all probably know, Gnomeregan was overrun by troggs in the Third War. Gnomes valiantly dealt with these nasty gnawers all by themselves, letting the dwarves help fighting the demon and Scourge threats. Then something went wrong.
We won’t point with our fingers at certain persons, but the result was turning Gnomeregan into a fallout theme park. Not only some troggs are to be found in modern Gnomeregan (and so, the problem was not solved completely), but many, many, many, oh, many Gnomes were turned into leper ones. This lepers instantly became hostile, and even provided their resources and twisted brains for villainy villains (see Steamvault).
This was the day when Gnomeregan was lost. The surface was claimed not so long ago, but the major parts of the underground city are still swarming with troggs, lepers and living ooze.
Gnomeregan dwellers became refugees. They were accepted by Ironforge and still hold a big chunk of a quarter there despite building New Tinkertown. But Gnome investments in the victories and technical wonders of Alliance is not part of this research. We are interested in one simple question: why we ever need Gnomeregan back so much?
*Micromantica sips a fizzledrink, then coninues.
Missions We Want Within Gnomeregan
Our interests in Gnomeregan are as follows:
- Humanitarian (or should we say: Gnomanitarian?). Some Gnomes are still there to be cleansed and saved from radiation.
- Scientific and Practical. Vast number of research papers and mechanisms are tobe recovered, researched and used in further activities.
- Nostalgic. Or call it revenge. Most of all we want Gnomeregan for Gnomeregan’s sake. Because it was our home… sort of.
While these reasons are definitely welcome with any sane Gnome, we can’t cast away or deny the importance and necessity of claiming Gnomeregan for ourselves. But do we really need it as our home? And is it the best capital city possible?
The answer is: NO.
Fasten Your Seatbelts And Face The Facts
Guess who are the digging race of Azeroth? Dwarves. In each and every corner of Azeroth and beyond – if you meet a dwarf settlement, it’s attached to a mountain, a hill or at least dug three levels underground. A note from the audience?
*Telsamar’s tavern lady sends her hugs and kisses.
Thank you! I’m coming for ribs this weekend! Now, where were we?
Right, dwarf digging habits. Please check out the dwarf capitals.
As you can perfectly see, Ironforge, Grim Batol and Aerie Peak – yes, even the air-loving Aerie Peak! – are built into a mountain so hard that only gates and narrow windows are seen. And I’m not even giving you Blackrock. You were there.
The important thing for dwarves is that everything important is happening inside the mountain or underground. The same is true about their settlements.
The city of Dun Modr is a perfect example of a typical dwarven city. You find a rock and dig deep inside it, leaving only small holes on the surface to get in.
Name any dwarven settlement and you will see that very little is on surface but very much is underground.
This was true for original Earthen and Iron Dwarves. Travelling in Northrend, each and every dwarf settlement will be dug deep in the mountains.
This is true for the modern dwarves. At the present Draenor campaign, the most notable settlement of dwarfs was in Gorgrond, and guess how it looks? Right, an entrance gate-hole and a big lot happening underground and inside the mountain.
*One more fizzledrink for the lecturer’s table plz *ahem* Thankz!
Now we’re here, on the slimy ground of “I don’t believe you!” and “Impossible!”. But I hope that Gnomes are capable of letting the theories turn their world upside down. We came up with an idea to spin the world around our rockets, right? So:
Gnomeregan’s Caverns Are Not Of Gnome Origin
Gnomes can dig, it’s very true. You could see the giant drills on our submarines. Won’t we be able to drill some stupid mountain? Hah!
But us, Gnomes, are not a DIGGER race. Certainly all the technical wonders in Gnomeregan are purely and only our work. Certainly it’s something to be proud of. But it was not the place we chose for ourselves in the first place!
From the very start, even mechagnomes needed some field and fresh air for their experiments. See Terrace of the Makers: it’s the most populated mechagnome zone, and it has nothing to do with any caves.
Mimiron – do you remember his hideout? Nothing like caves or dwarvish halls, no sir! It’s a vast space, a perfect lab opened for experiments. Any experiments. You can’t exactly remember if there are walls or ceilings, cause they’re so not around.
And now to modern Gnomes.
Each and every Gnome settlement in the world is set in an open space. Moreover, it’s not only an open space, but a rise. Slides, please! *ahem*
Toshley’s Station in Outland, Blade’s Edge Mountains. It’s one of the higher grounds. Was there a possibility to dig a hole? Yes. Was there a possibility to build a house in a mountain? Yes. Could we do that in close proximity to the examined area? Yes. Are there any underground huts? No.
Steelgrill Depot in Khaz Modan, Dun Morogh. When Gnomes get their settlement, it’s an open space. Compare to Kharanos which is almost the same town:
Yes, that’s Kharanos for you. All the buildings are set deep in mountains and the tavern has two underground levels.
Fizzcrank Airstrip in Northrend, Borean Tundra. Again, many hillsides and mountains to set a base – but what we have is an open space and no underground homes.
And there’s an interesting example too. The Shimmering Flats in Kalimdor, Thousand Needles were a playground for Gnomes and Goblins. Before Cataclysm, it was a racing ground where we competed with greenskins – it was a battle of speed and engineering! Cataclysm flooded the grounds.
Did the inhabitants escape? No. Did they floated to a rocky safe shore and built themselves a safe, steady base to continue scuba diving from there? No.
It’s an open space floating speedbarge. Very dangerous – because goblin brawls and pirates shooting, but very convenient in terms of investigation. Not a single Dwarf would ever, ever stay there after Cataclysm or even think of building such an unstable thing. Gnomes did.
Face the facts: when Gnomes are free to go and set themselves a base of operations, it will never, ever be a diggy diggy hole. Even if the landscape welcomes some steady underground fortress or lab to be built, Gnomes won’t do that.
And look what we have here.
Gnomeregan caverns were originally dwarven or natural mines or both. They were enhanced, mechanized and improved by Gnomes, but it was never a place Gnomes were truly happy about. We may only wonder if it was the only option or Dwarves just showed them the dark caverns and said: now you live here, but Gnomes would never build their home city under ground or in a mountain. They’re not a digging race! But Dwarves – those Dwarves who live around the corner – they are! If we only had a choice…
But We Have It Now!
New Tinkertown is a nice start, and it’s both a refugee camp and a front base for Gnomeregan operations. Mind you, I would have been in front rows for claiming Gnomeregan in Operation: Gnomeregan II, III and IV, and however many will be needed.
But what Gnome people really need is:
- To evacuate all blueprints, machines and Gnomes to be saved from Gnomeregan.
- To seal this place, solving the trogg problem once and for all (it’s not like we have an extra mad Aspect of the Earth on loose to break the mountain).
- Finally, leave the current New Tinkertown to be a guarding outpost and build ourselves a proper capital according to Gnome true intentions and lifestyle.
Where? Oh, I have the answer for you. The goddamn Frostmane trolls hill between Gnomeregan and Ironforge.
And that is why.
- It will be a natural expansion of New Tinkertown. We keep our close proximity to dangerous fallout sites and Gnomeregan which are to be cleansed. We keep our trade and maintain friendship with Ironforge Dwarfs, and we can check out the Gnome relatives in Ironforge too.
- It will solve the Frostmane troll problem once and for all. It seems that Moira and Varian didn’t finish the trolls there during Pandaria campaign, it was more of the proving allegiance fight. But Frostmanes keep harassing the trade ways! Dwarves will only say “thank you”.
- Finally, the plateau has enough space to build a proper Gnome capital. What is more important, it’s located on high grounds and is a perfect place for a true Gnome town as we seen them in the examples before. Opened to winds, flight, alchemy, magic and explosion experiments and more.